cotton in YO mouth

ello guvna i havent typed in a while.. soo ya i have a lot to say but not much time.. im listening to sinai beach they are good i love em.. a lot has happened since last time i blogged... i lost a best friend and now we are just chill but its wierd.. and umm i dont like anyone anymore.. i thought i did but then i realized i didnt.. my birthday passed i am now 16.. my friend monica is now 15 and i gave her a $150 camera for her bday and umm drew cotton is in my tutorial now.. its almost christmas and im not getting hardly anything.. haha bad grammar right thuuurr.. lol so anyways christmas vaca has started and i wanted to go to ryan booths house but i cant and i cut my hand open and it wont stop bleeding so that sux but ya! umm haha my hand is leaking thru the bandaid =P umm yup i really shoulkdnt be typing with a bloody hand so im outty! aight and oh ya umm katie frost is cool ahahah i had to put her in here just for idk i always have her in my blogs well ya im outty *click*

here i stand, all alone, tonight

oooooo godayumn.. i cant believe how attatched i am to katie!! shes soo gosh darn amazing!!! =].. lol its true she is amazing lol but ya anyways!! *happysigh* so ya umm idk lately has been good yet really bad.. its been bad cuz ive gotten in a lot of trouble like getting 2 inschools and getting caught for selling pills and standing in the wrong classroom and being a smart @$$.. but ya good news is not that i saved a load of money on car insurance by switching to geico. INFACT i dont even have a car let alone a liscence...BUT...I think im head over heals for katie.. lol that sounds pretty gay lol.. but the only other way i can describe it is that im madly inlove with her!!.. idk wat it is.. lol i'd just love to call her my girlfriend! but calling her my best friend is good enough!! lol i just realized that all this blogging is pretty much all about katie.. wow im obsessed lol i need to get a real hobby other than thinking about katie...lol... ok so i've realized this multiple times but ya im ost likely never getting back with kt but is it wrong to dream.. im pretty sure it is nt bad or wrong to dream about sumthing... i guess this is one of those "in yur dreams" things lol... oh sha la la oh sha la la laaa.. umm idk... i've come to realize that katie is pure she's a purity no man can grasp. no one can realize just how amazing she is lol im gunna stop talking about katie lol i prolly just sound really stupid.. ahaha.. anyways.. vanna is an amzing band i saw them live with from first to last blessthefall and a skylit drive.. all amazing the reason i brought it up was cuz i was listenign to "shes a real battle axe" by vanna!! i love vanna and kt put vanna on my myspace it was cool shes like u wont expect me to know this song but i've told her about vanna a bunch of times so obviously she would atleast know of them ha... when i went to tyhe from first to last and vanna show i stole a pick from the mic stand of the bassist from from first to last i was like ha imma rebel.. ok so lately i've written like 4 or 5 new songs within the past month really cool i guess they arent that good but my life is the best one i think its really good just the way the music goes with it or the way the sng actually goes.. ya thats it cuz i dont have musci to it yet lol................. so I Scream YouScream is my band im starting and i dont know if joey is going to be the drummer or not cuz bret says he found a better drummer but idk yet i havent heard him but ya katie just called me soo im gunna talk to her!!!!! sooo i guess i lll write again later in life!!! im outty *click*

the best pic

okey dokey its been a long time since i last wrote a blog.. umm the hayrides is over and im wicked happy so i dont have to be tired anymore...!!! and today is monday lets say that and friday my sisters fiance picked me up and brought me to his condo and then my sister brought me to bullmoose to get my ticket for the vanna, a skylit drive, blessthefall, and from first to last show saturday night and i hung out with ryan, wilson and cayleigh until the show.. and we had fun.. the show was gosh darn AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
and i moshed till i dropped and i got like shouldered in the chin and bit thru my lip it was amzing!!! and we went to mccy d's after and had sum cheeseburgers and fries and then we went home and slept..!! we went BMXing the nest day.. im a noob at bmx so i wasnt good at all i could bunny hop a lil bit but thats bout it... and we went to wendys and mcdonalds.. sunday night i got home and i talked to katie and shes all like i dont like jeff anymore and i was like "oh" and so she broke up with him and ya.. i need to break up with kayla cuz i dont like her anymore!! and ya i need to and i really dont know wat to write now.. all ik is that my teache ris being gay and not letting me go to c lunch and i wanna kick her butt!! not really but she just upsets me.. and ya.. soo yup i've stopped doing the bad thing i was doing atleast for now but ya im done for now soo ill blog later hopefully.. im outty *click*

Don't Interupt Me!

new blog new me... i've changed soo much since my last blog!! ugh i feel like dying and grr idk but sumthing is wrong with me and i need help... i seem just fine on the outside but inside im suffering and grrrrr.... again i sink to my all time lowest.. i need to stop this it does nuthing to help me except free me of my pain for the night! but the aftermath is bad... ok umm enough emo crap lol... umm so like i finished writing my 2nd song for kt.. its really bad but i might post it sum day cuz ya.. i need to stop being such a loser and break up with kayla... cuz like she acts different around me and i dont want her getting involved with the crap i do.. cuz if i do sumthing and piss off sum1 then they get after kayla im gunna feel horrible soo i need to let go of her for her sake... ugh umm ya so kt read the song and i have no clue wat she thought about it cuz she didnt say anything or do anything that would show wat she was thinking or feeling! =[ ummm soo ya.. i've even started in the highschool bathroom thats not good.. that means i can do it anywhere... ugh.. umm yaa lets see kt is wearing her blue shirt with poofy sleeves and sum tight jeans. lol sorry i didnt knwo wat to write so i wrotr sumthing random... um ya ahahah i've been saying um and ya a lot in this one.. soo lets see today has been alright i gave kt her juicebox she wanted and ya lol she like was staring at it for like 2 minutes then shes like OH MY JUICE BOX lol shes a lil slow sumtimes, i think she gets it from joey but joey is really cool so its ok with him! =P anddadadadadahh brittani estes keeps trying to read this blog but she can wait until i post it to read it and ya.. shes pretty kewl a lil obsessive over things but everyone has there own problems.. even tho ppl might not know wat they are... but brittani is a really cool girl!!!!!! i've got writers block right now soo im gunna finish this up... ok????? ok!!!!!! have a nice day and yaa i miss kt and i need to go to the movies with her for her birthday... ok im outty pCE *click*

penny drop

ughhhhhh... soo like jared dunton and sum oscar kid are talking about dropping pennies on iraq to kill ppl..GOSH soo like idk im like hyper and it sux, and im listening to haste the day and i want to mosh REALLY BAD!! and like im sitting on the floor now and idk..lets see.. wat to type about.....ummm.. so so sooo i wanna hangout with kt cuz we havent hung out in a while so we need to!!! =] cuz i miss her bunches, and like in school shes different then she is one the phone its wierd... idk exactly but i can just tell that she acts different.. but ya.. i have to work 2morrow and its gunna be fun cuz joey is gonna be there and yaa!! and we are gunna have a blast!i!l!o!v!e!y!o!u! *I dont think you know wat these words mean.. i dont think you know wat we could be..... i will wait 4ever cuz i think that ur the one*!!!! i dont think you know!! and u prolly never will but ugh... nvm!!! idk why im writing such short blogs its kinda ghey cuz i've written a bunch of reallly long blogs and ya.. im listening to crank that calvary boy right now!! i wish sumone who read my blogs would leave comments and tell me wat they think about them cuzz i just want to know wat ppl think about my thoguhts and feelings and everything.. thatd be kewl lol yup... ummmm now im listening to inhale exhale.. such a good band... sigh... this is ending RIGHT NOWW!!! UGH I DONT KNOW ANYMORE!!!! im breaking down and things are getting worse although i may seem perfectly fine on the outside im not my mind is being occupied with these thoughts and i canty concentrate on things.. ughhh i ddont want to resort back to my old ways of getting rid of this pain its not good at alll!!!!!!!!!! im gunan like GRR i need sum help seriously im gunna go crazy!!!!!!! u need to understand that i have a lot of problems and im never ok theres always sumthing on my mind!!!! right now theres soo much running threw my head like kt and kayla and my life and how others would be without mine!!! i feel suicidal and i just wanna die... u know how they say that if ur falling off a cliff in a dream and u hit then u actually die!!! well i want ot hit but it never works!!! i've been having the same dream lately im standing.. im standing on a cliff and im about to fall off and as i start to fall kt grabs me and keeps me from falling.. so i think that she is the only thing keeping me from falling to a horrible death!!! but im done cuz class is over soo bye!!!!!!!! c*lick*

dont dink and drance *hick*

so like hmm idk wat to right about today.. im very screamo today as u can tell.. lets see right now im listening to the devil wears prada cuz they are amazing!! ok umm.. kt wasnt at school today cuz shes sick.. and im very sad cuz shes sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i dont want her to be sick.. i just feel bad.. =[ soo today i sold my psp i bought for $6 i sold it for like $80 soo its a good deal and i only use my psp for music soo ya!! and umm ya... i really dont know wat to right about right now.. all my important things i write donw on paper and i wont right them in here cuz they are too important and personal.. but ya.. kt called me last night.. that was kewl.. but she wasnt the person i wanted to call me.. but its all good kt crazy cool.. yup!!! sooo i reallly cant think of anything else to right soo im outty!! *click*

todays and yesterdays

ok lets see.. today was pretty good... actually better than usual.. i was happy cuz kt hugged me and like ya =] soo like umm i was like in a pissy mood after school for sum reason.. and like idk i was listening to job for a cowboy cuz they are loud DEATHmetal soo it was goood for my mood.. soo ya... and like yaa then i went to church for wednesday night class.. and i calmed down and i went from HARDCORE to mellow emoish.. and like ya soo weird.. but ya i've been thinking a lot lately about kt(obviously) and like wat i can do to get over her.. but i couldnt think of anything.. even getting a gf doesnt help... i guess i just need sum time... i guess im in the same predicament as she is.. cuz im stuck on her and shes stuck on corey.. prolly by the time she is fully over with corey is when ill be fully over with her.. and im pretty sure thats not anytime soon.. but ya i've been tryin to be happier with kayla and its kinda working but not really idk.. i just gotta get into it... yup ummm ... soo im in a very emo mood and im listening to emo acoustic music and its good cuz im calm and im not llike goin crazy and screaming my head off and yaa.. but sum ppl know that emo is not good with me and i really cant stay in this mood for long cuz Lord knows wat i'll dooooo... soo yaa i guess i just needa talk to sum1 or sleep or sumthing but the only person i could actually talk wont talk to me and ya well.. she prolly will she just doesnt know its her i want to talk to so she wont call but yaa... umm ya.. so i think im done for now and i think this is my shortest blog or maybe not but ya i've spoken my feelings soo im outty *click*