penny drop

ughhhhhh... soo like jared dunton and sum oscar kid are talking about dropping pennies on iraq to kill ppl..GOSH soo like idk im like hyper and it sux, and im listening to haste the day and i want to mosh REALLY BAD!! and like im sitting on the floor now and idk..lets see.. wat to type about.....ummm.. so so sooo i wanna hangout with kt cuz we havent hung out in a while so we need to!!! =] cuz i miss her bunches, and like in school shes different then she is one the phone its wierd... idk exactly but i can just tell that she acts different.. but ya.. i have to work 2morrow and its gunna be fun cuz joey is gonna be there and yaa!! and we are gunna have a blast!i!l!o!v!e!y!o!u! *I dont think you know wat these words mean.. i dont think you know wat we could be..... i will wait 4ever cuz i think that ur the one*!!!! i dont think you know!! and u prolly never will but ugh... nvm!!! idk why im writing such short blogs its kinda ghey cuz i've written a bunch of reallly long blogs and ya.. im listening to crank that calvary boy right now!! i wish sumone who read my blogs would leave comments and tell me wat they think about them cuzz i just want to know wat ppl think about my thoguhts and feelings and everything.. thatd be kewl lol yup... ummmm now im listening to inhale exhale.. such a good band... sigh... this is ending RIGHT NOWW!!! UGH I DONT KNOW ANYMORE!!!! im breaking down and things are getting worse although i may seem perfectly fine on the outside im not my mind is being occupied with these thoughts and i canty concentrate on things.. ughhh i ddont want to resort back to my old ways of getting rid of this pain its not good at alll!!!!!!!!!! im gunan like GRR i need sum help seriously im gunna go crazy!!!!!!! u need to understand that i have a lot of problems and im never ok theres always sumthing on my mind!!!! right now theres soo much running threw my head like kt and kayla and my life and how others would be without mine!!! i feel suicidal and i just wanna die... u know how they say that if ur falling off a cliff in a dream and u hit then u actually die!!! well i want ot hit but it never works!!! i've been having the same dream lately im standing.. im standing on a cliff and im about to fall off and as i start to fall kt grabs me and keeps me from falling.. so i think that she is the only thing keeping me from falling to a horrible death!!! but im done cuz class is over soo bye!!!!!!!! c*lick*